Sharing your thoughts and in a way flaunting yourself to friends and perhaps others can be very scary, and specially for some people, like me, who is not used to the idea. But you choose what to say and what to put out there.
Sometimes I have tried sharing my thoughts to close family members or friends and it has backfired. Bad. It makes you cautious... But now I am in a point in my life were it does not matter. The friends who choose to not be friends are gone and new ones have arrived that deserve my attention. Other things change with other people over time and you become more tolerant to differences. You learn. I like that. I LOVE that. Learning. It is something one should do every day, learn a new thing.
I have learned today to not trust my alarm-clock. I have also learned the gift of tolerance as it took me 20 min to put my son in time-out for teasing his sister to breaking point. I have learned that whatever my plans are for the day...somethings gonna go. You can't plan that both kids will be home today and that makes you be at home to.
A short while ago I had problems with just that. If I din not do everything on my list I thought I had totally failed everything! When my therapist pointed out that it is OK, I thought he was stupid and that he brought me down, because everyone should help everyone to strive for perfection. Well now I learned that I am perfection....with or without my flaws.
" It is what you dwell on, you become"
Oprah Winfrey
01 February 2011
06 December 2009
If only it was summer. THEN I would be happy. Happy and not freezing my butt off.
If only I had longer hair and weighed 20 Kg less. Then I would be happy and content.
If only I had a milion. Then I would be happy ans forfilled.
If only I lived somewere else. Then I could live out my dreams.
Those are the thoughts of someone not living in the now. Like me for example. I often have a hard time living in the now. I have learnd and I'm better at it, and today I realize that having that you want in the future means living now and working for it.
But it is a lot easier a calm Sunday afternoon than it is a Tuesday morning when you want to split in two or maby three just to be able to do everything. And in time.
A very nice and wise woman named Cherryl Richardsson tells me that I should write a priority list. And then sa "NO" to everything outside that list.
A very good idea, but what if everything feels like a priority? What can I take away?
Ok, let's be honest here....tv? Cleaning the house? Lying in bed feeling sorry for myself :)?
Well then, this is my priority-list for this week:
1. Take a walk and enjoy nature no matter what the wether is like
2. Keep up with school-work
3. Play with the kids and talk to them every day
4. Think about my future and what I want to see in that and make a desitions according to that
If only I had longer hair and weighed 20 Kg less. Then I would be happy and content.
If only I had a milion. Then I would be happy ans forfilled.
If only I lived somewere else. Then I could live out my dreams.
Those are the thoughts of someone not living in the now. Like me for example. I often have a hard time living in the now. I have learnd and I'm better at it, and today I realize that having that you want in the future means living now and working for it.
But it is a lot easier a calm Sunday afternoon than it is a Tuesday morning when you want to split in two or maby three just to be able to do everything. And in time.
A very nice and wise woman named Cherryl Richardsson tells me that I should write a priority list. And then sa "NO" to everything outside that list.
A very good idea, but what if everything feels like a priority? What can I take away?
Ok, let's be honest here....tv? Cleaning the house? Lying in bed feeling sorry for myself :)?
Well then, this is my priority-list for this week:
1. Take a walk and enjoy nature no matter what the wether is like
2. Keep up with school-work
3. Play with the kids and talk to them every day
4. Think about my future and what I want to see in that and make a desitions according to that
08 November 2009
Fall has come ang gone..again.
Fall is my favorite time of the year.
It is fresh and it is change. The nature changes befor our eyes, and so can I.
I love to change. Not that I am a terrible person in need of a total personality make-over, I´m talking about evolving. Everybody should strive to make changes every day. Evolve.
Open upp.
I am open, and I am ready to serve and to become the best I can be. I have nobody holding me back now so I can not put the blame elsewere.
I am ment for something great, and I want to find out what that is. I am eagar and I am curious. So should you be. You are also ment for something geat.
What is YOUR purpose?
I have to say, it is not easy. Falling down and getting up again when life beats you to the ground. I always think "what could I have done differently" and learn from that.
Many people say they have no regrets. I find that hard. How do you then learn? I have many regrets. I can understand that I should Live life with no regrets.
To me that means to make good decisions now and in the future, so that I later have no regrets.
But the bad decisions that I have already made? I have to regret them, so that I can learn. I dont dwell, (well maby some nights), and I´ve stoped banging myself in the head because without them I would not be who I am today and know what I know, and be able to at a young age share experience with others. Or understand others. Be understanding and not judgemental. Be compassionate not cold.
Whe are all on a spiritual jurney, and I´ve just realised that spirit, universe, gods kingdom or whatever you will call it, is within you. You do NOT need an external authority telling you how that should be or how you sould feel about it. Listen to yourself. It is scary, but worth it.
" If you only actually feldt, of that which you speak (of God), you would only be able to come from a place of love"
- Rev. Ed Bacon
It is fresh and it is change. The nature changes befor our eyes, and so can I.
I love to change. Not that I am a terrible person in need of a total personality make-over, I´m talking about evolving. Everybody should strive to make changes every day. Evolve.
Open upp.
I am open, and I am ready to serve and to become the best I can be. I have nobody holding me back now so I can not put the blame elsewere.
I am ment for something great, and I want to find out what that is. I am eagar and I am curious. So should you be. You are also ment for something geat.
What is YOUR purpose?
I have to say, it is not easy. Falling down and getting up again when life beats you to the ground. I always think "what could I have done differently" and learn from that.
Many people say they have no regrets. I find that hard. How do you then learn? I have many regrets. I can understand that I should Live life with no regrets.
To me that means to make good decisions now and in the future, so that I later have no regrets.
But the bad decisions that I have already made? I have to regret them, so that I can learn. I dont dwell, (well maby some nights), and I´ve stoped banging myself in the head because without them I would not be who I am today and know what I know, and be able to at a young age share experience with others. Or understand others. Be understanding and not judgemental. Be compassionate not cold.
Whe are all on a spiritual jurney, and I´ve just realised that spirit, universe, gods kingdom or whatever you will call it, is within you. You do NOT need an external authority telling you how that should be or how you sould feel about it. Listen to yourself. It is scary, but worth it.
" If you only actually feldt, of that which you speak (of God), you would only be able to come from a place of love"
- Rev. Ed Bacon
A new start at something old
Things happen and sometimes we don´t feel that we are a part of our own lives. That is a very scary feeling and a bad place to be.
I´ve been there for a while now and feel that i t is time to take control again. I put my focus on the negative, insted of looking at the achivements I have done this year. I read what I wrote exactly this time last year, and I learn from myself. It is my choise to make it better and to improve myself.
In other words: Time to start meditating again and to write. Time to look at what I foods I accept in my body and what I do to myself on a daily basis.
My promise to myself is to improve so that I can live a better life and do better in my studies and as a mother and make this happen BEFORE the new year and not something I put up to do after. That would be easy to do. "I´ll deal with that later"
In order to make a change in you life, no matter what it is, you should start within 24h. Otherwise the risk of nothing happening is big! So take a look at what you want, when you want to be there and reach your goal, and what you need to do in order to get there. Ask yorself "why" and then you can se what is needen in order to change that.
ex. "I´m so tired all the time"
"WHY...am I so tired all the time?" "What can I do to improve myself?"
well, for me, it is easy....unfortiantly...and Luckely! I need to exercize, eat more colorful vegetables and fruit, and sleep more at good hours.
Write it down, make a map and put it were you can se it every day. For me, putting it in my calender is not good for example, because I find myself NOT looking in it, sometimes for an entire week.
But on the wall in my bedroom? Or on the closet door? I have to get clothes every morning. Then I can look at it and reward myself mentaly when progress is made.
Will it work? I hope so, I want it to, and I set my mind to work along with it. I have affirmations to work with me. I surround myself with people who want good to come of me, and not those who put me down.
Well, whe shall se then...
I´ve been there for a while now and feel that i t is time to take control again. I put my focus on the negative, insted of looking at the achivements I have done this year. I read what I wrote exactly this time last year, and I learn from myself. It is my choise to make it better and to improve myself.
In other words: Time to start meditating again and to write. Time to look at what I foods I accept in my body and what I do to myself on a daily basis.
My promise to myself is to improve so that I can live a better life and do better in my studies and as a mother and make this happen BEFORE the new year and not something I put up to do after. That would be easy to do. "I´ll deal with that later"
In order to make a change in you life, no matter what it is, you should start within 24h. Otherwise the risk of nothing happening is big! So take a look at what you want, when you want to be there and reach your goal, and what you need to do in order to get there. Ask yorself "why" and then you can se what is needen in order to change that.
ex. "I´m so tired all the time"
"WHY...am I so tired all the time?" "What can I do to improve myself?"
well, for me, it is easy....unfortiantly...and Luckely! I need to exercize, eat more colorful vegetables and fruit, and sleep more at good hours.
Write it down, make a map and put it were you can se it every day. For me, putting it in my calender is not good for example, because I find myself NOT looking in it, sometimes for an entire week.
But on the wall in my bedroom? Or on the closet door? I have to get clothes every morning. Then I can look at it and reward myself mentaly when progress is made.
Will it work? I hope so, I want it to, and I set my mind to work along with it. I have affirmations to work with me. I surround myself with people who want good to come of me, and not those who put me down.
Well, whe shall se then...
12 November 2008
Lies
How do you protect yourself from lies that people are telling you, about you?
I´m not sure my self, but I did hear someone once said that you just think to yourself that "this is not me you are talking about, this is someone else. I will not be affected by your hatered".
Sometimes it just comes like venum your way, and you are caught off guard and you get frozen not knowing what hit you. Afterwords you are angry with your self that you did not stand up for you!
My friends told me that as long as YOU know that it is not you and that it is not true, that is all that matters. It is wise, and a good way to think.
But I can´t shake off this feeling that it is not fair.
I want everything to be fair. The world is not fair, I know, but I always seek out to be fair to others and do things fairly as far as I possibly can. And when I hear lies, and also know that they are probobly spreading like dandylion seeds....It doesn´t feel fair.
I want truth, and I want people to know the truth.
But at the end of the day, you can only go to the people who truely knows you and truely cares and love you, and ask them for the truth. And be true to your self. Don´t hide from your ugly sides or you can never ever change them.
As usual these poor people are acting out of fear, and they should be pittied and not hated. They have there own darkness to fight and the only way they know how is to fight others. And some really BELIVE what they are saying. It is true in there minds. We should feel sorry for them to.
And remember: The only person in the world I can ever change...is me.
I´m not sure my self, but I did hear someone once said that you just think to yourself that "this is not me you are talking about, this is someone else. I will not be affected by your hatered".
Sometimes it just comes like venum your way, and you are caught off guard and you get frozen not knowing what hit you. Afterwords you are angry with your self that you did not stand up for you!
My friends told me that as long as YOU know that it is not you and that it is not true, that is all that matters. It is wise, and a good way to think.
But I can´t shake off this feeling that it is not fair.
I want everything to be fair. The world is not fair, I know, but I always seek out to be fair to others and do things fairly as far as I possibly can. And when I hear lies, and also know that they are probobly spreading like dandylion seeds....It doesn´t feel fair.
I want truth, and I want people to know the truth.
But at the end of the day, you can only go to the people who truely knows you and truely cares and love you, and ask them for the truth. And be true to your self. Don´t hide from your ugly sides or you can never ever change them.
As usual these poor people are acting out of fear, and they should be pittied and not hated. They have there own darkness to fight and the only way they know how is to fight others. And some really BELIVE what they are saying. It is true in there minds. We should feel sorry for them to.
And remember: The only person in the world I can ever change...is me.
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